|||

The Addressee

Whoever is on the mattress
living or dead
must not be addressed
as such    The body
bears against the springs
and the springs rebuff
the body    Refer to this
Newtonian agreement
when addressing
the body    Living or dead
it is repulsed

oof—ow! ouch.

BIG BAD MILDRED hurled an andiron at my face so hard that I instantly died. My glasses were also damaged. Instead of dignifying my remains with Christian burial rites, she opened up a pizza Lunchable and stacked the pepperoni slices on my nipples. Weeks later she returned and poked at my corpse with a very rare late-19th century Zuni Pueblo carved wood figurine depicting a woman in ceremonial dress (est. value $475),” said the man sitting next to me at the bus stop.

A pity,” I replied, looking up at the perfect repose of the clouds.

Don’t Enter This Room

It’s too big to spit
out    It’s a fatberg
of bearded faces and frog
legs    It runs
in the family
My grandmother had one
the size of a
hotdog lodged in her thigh
When we ladled her
into the coffin I could swear
she winked at me

Ian Stratton

Twitter: @ohohthepainoh

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